Rubber Duckies in the Bathtub

When you have a baby, I can promise you a few things.

  1. Your life will be changed forever in the positive
  2. You will start to have more photos on your phone of that purple and pink clad bundle of joy than anything else.
  3. Your beautiful morning routine will get fucked.

Two out of three ain’t bad right.

If you follow the hype and podcast trail (as I do), you will know that most of your mentors, idols and heroes subscribe to the morning routine. The optimum sequence, the ideal boot up for a perfect day.

Every day.

This might look like;

  1. Rise at 4:00
  2. Drink 500ml of purified water
  3. Jog on the spot for 5 minutes before a 7 minute mini yoga routine
  4. Shower
  5. Make your coffee (single origin slow pour-over of course)
  6. Meditate for 20 minutes
  7. Journal on 5 things you are grateful for
  8. Pat the dog on the head as you leave the house a centered, grateful, monk of a mother fucker.

Your 9 month old, and your wife will not agree with this practice past day one.

Jog on the spot beside your bed? Pillow to the face.

Shower for longer than 48 seconds (far less than the 5 minutes cold water exposure advocates will advise) scathing text message from the adjoining room.

Grind your custom ordered coffee beans while the baby is self-soothing into an early morning slumber…  probable death.

You can see where I am going with this.

Our lives have seasons and sometimes the season is – shut the fuck up and leave as quickly as you can.

But fear not friends, there is an alternative. There is a way to hit your morning routine KPI’s and arrive at your day (my first client is at 4:45) primed, prepped and properly caffeinated.

It just takes some preparation. And here’s how.

  1. Have an abbreviated morning routine (one you can do in 6minutes flat)
  2. Understand that a routine 5 mornings out of 7 is great, but 2 is still better than none!
  3. Keep trying.

Just know this. Sometimes you are going to be able to perform your box breathing, long soak shower protocol. Good. Take advantage of those days.

Sometimes you look up through bloodshot eyes and only see a rubber ducky smirking back at you.

Laugh you yellow motherfucker. I’m still going to have a good day.